you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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