I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I could have mohawked her pubes.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
This toilet bowl is my home.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
