Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
