I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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