I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
