Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
