i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
