3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
