Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
