At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
