dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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