Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
