you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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