you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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