respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
