you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
It's rum buckets o'clock
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
