If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
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