He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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