he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I think I sprained my soul last night
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
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