Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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