the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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