The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
