I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize
