Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
