You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
