I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
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