I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
