I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
