my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
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