Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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