There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
