u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
that may or may not have been my penis.
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