Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Randomize
