i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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