Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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