i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
