Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Randomize
