and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
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