the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
