i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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