awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
