the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
The air taste purple.
Randomize
