Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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