I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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