so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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