Porn is love you can see.
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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