I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
