is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
