the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
