Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
