she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
