dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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