I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Randomize
