I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
there is glitter all over my balls
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